Demolition Dating
by Stone Amber
Summary: Nothing cuts the bordem quite like secretly joining your brother on his date, and making it more "awesome".


"I'm bored." Prussia threw a dart at the wall. It hit the very center of target board with a muffled _thunk_. Glancing up briefly Switzerland said "Good shot," before returning to cleaning his gun.

"Of course it was. All my shots are good." He threw another, which sunk into the wall inches away from a gilded frame of someone he didn't know.

"Uh, huh," mused Switzerland, narrowing his eyes at the dart, still swaying in _his_ wall.

"I am soo bored." Prussia cried again, throwing himself backward on to a couch. Switzerland said nothing to this. he didn't even stir at the noise, since this was about the hundredth time the older man had proclaimed his boredom, and thrown himself on to a piece of furniture.

Minutes ticked by with the sound of Vash's brush strokes against the inside of his gun barrel.

"I'm going to die!" The Prussian yelled to the ceiling before covering his face with a pillow.

"So you've said." Switzerland held up the slide of his gun, squinting a calculating eye down it. In response, muffled words came from beneath the pillow. "What?"

"I said," Prussia lifted the pillow from his face, "where's West?"

"I believe he's out with Italy."

"Again?" The Albino lifted himself up on one elbow and stared in disgusted surprise across the room.

"Well, they are allies."

"Pfft.." Prussia collapsed back onto the couch and began tossing his pillow into the air. "They're more than just '_Allies'_."

"What are you saying," Switzerland froze, the slide of his gun balancing precariously on his finger tips, and looked at Prussia. "That they are on date?"

"Yup."

"You mean, romantically?"

"Does that little pasta machine do anything _un_romantically?"

Switzerland laid down his buffer and stared out the window, a smile slowly creepy onto this face.

"Yup, they're probably out doing it somewhere." Prussia stood up and stretched. "I hope West was a gentleman and took him to dinner first."

"They could still be about." Switzerland got to his feet and began to pace.

"Ya, I guess. It's not that late yet, they could be dancing or something."

Switzerland stopped mid-step, "Germany dances?"

"Sort of." Chuckled Prussia.

"Perfect, get your coat!" And with that Switzerland left the room, smiling like a mad man. Prussia watched him go, wondering if he'd missed something. Shrugging he followed suit after gathering his coat and wallet, a grin appearing on his face as well.

"Ok, thanks. Ya? Right back at ya, you Puttz." Prussia hung up the phone with a snap.

"Did he know where they went?" Switzerland accelerated the car and turned on his blinker.

"Yes, but next time you make the call. I'll never believe those two are related." After giving Switzerland directions, Prussia's phone rang a dozen more times, but he ignored them all with a grin. After the twentieth ring, and before Switzerland could throw it out the window, he answered.

"Hello there Spain, how's your evening going?"

"Really? 'Cause mine's pretty good."

Switzerland chuckled silently as he pulled into a parking lot.

"I'm not doing anything ... That was only for a case of an emergency … What if the Allies attacked? Well you never know…of course I'm not … where? Out … Ya, Vash is here … we wanted ice cream, ok? Ya well we're here now and I have to order… Razzlberry Alps... it is so... No! I've got to go, give Romano my best." He closed the phone again and smiled smugly across at Switzerland.

"He better not call Germany."

"Don't worry" Prussia said climbing out of the car, "he has his _own_ little Italian to worry about."

Switzerland chuckled and locked the doors and turned to face the establishment they had pulled up to, eyeing it doubtfully.

"This is it?"

Prussia slicked back his hair and began walking toward the brightly flashing club. "This is it!"

"So, do you have a plan?" Prussia asked pulling out his ID for the huge Bouncer at the entrance.

"Mayhem?" Switzerland likewise proved his identity, the Bouncer scowled down at both of them menacingly. Prussia laughed.

"Nice one, pal." He patted the Bouncer on his burly shoulder as they walked past. "But I've lived in places scarier."

"Let's go, Gilbert." With both hands Switzerland pushed Prussia inside the dark night club.

"Focus," He yelled in the Prussians ear, "We have to find Ludwig and Veneziano."

"What?" Gilbert yelled back. They weren't even in the main room and the music was deafening.

"WEST!" He yelled again. Gilbert understood and gave him the thumbs-up in response. They walked down the crowded hallway, only getting moderately harassed by the girls lining the wall. As they reached the main floor both men breathed easier. It had taken all their energy not to linger in the walkway. For they were on a mission, and would not fail, tough Prussia was able to hand his phone number to several particularly lovely ladies.

"Should we spilt-up." Prussia mouthed, using his hands to motion going different directions. Switzerland just shook his head. It would be too difficult to find each other again. He pointed to the left of the dance floor, and motioned for Prussia to follow.

They walked, or in Gilberts case, momba'd, along the second highest platform, keeping their eyes peeled. They figured the couple would be easy to spot, seeing as Germany was so tall and Italy so exuberant. The club was circular and tiered like a sports arena. A huge dance floor in the center took up the majority of the square footage. The rest was made up of tiered platforms for dining, VIP rooms, bars, smaller dance floors and lounging areas.

They were on the fourth floor when Gilbert spotted their quary sitting at one of the tables ringing the edge of the level. Hastily he plunged into a stair well to a lower floor, bring Switzerland down with him.

"What the hell," yelled Switzerland, hanging on to the railing for dear life.

Prussia held up a silencing hand to his mouth, and pointed excitedly towards their prey's table.

Muttering threats and expletives under his breath, Vash joined his stalking partner.

From their hiding place they could easily see Germany and Italy sitting and drinking together. Italy was all but waltzing on the table and spilling his drink. While stoic Germany sipped from his mug calmly tapping his foot.

"What now?"

Prussia voiced the very question Switzerland was thinking, but just as he was about to respond, their quarry got up, and began walking towards them.

"HIDE!" Both men dived for an empty VIP room. Not seconds after they closed the door, did Germany and Italy pass by, looking none the wiser and migrating in the direction of the dance floor. They watched as the two pushed onto the stage and began to move in rhythm to the music, or Italy did anyway.

"Alright," Prussia cracked the door open and winked at Switzerland "follow my lead." Stealthily both men left the room. They had no trouble getting to the edge of the dancers, however, once there, it was harder to manage. Squeezing through couples and disjointed soloists, they set their plans into motion. Prussia swung wide, maneuvering his way to Italy's side, while Switzerland hung back behind Germany. Being quiet was simple since the music covered up even the loudest noise, so speed was all that mattered, as well as not getting caught.

As quick as he could, Vash tapped Germany none-to gently on the shoulder, and spun away, instantly linking up with a lone dancer for cover. The very moment Germany turned to face his aggressor, Prussia then spun Italy away from him, only to pawn the little Italian off on yet another soloist before he was recognized.

From each of their vantage points they were able to watch as Germany, perplexed to find no one behind him geared for a fight, return to dancing only to become even more perplexed to find he had no partner. The look of absolute confusion on his normally serious face was priceless, as was his bumbling attempt at finding his date.

Ludwig pried apart dozens of couples, each one with more desperation. Italy, on the other hand, apparently wasn't all too concerned and had actually traded a few partners before Germany found him.

The duo was able to make it back to Italy and Germanys table before Prussia broke their cover completely.

"Did you see his face!" gasped Gilbert between guffaws, clutching his right side, he held the back of what had once been Italy's chair for balance.

Switzerland was much more composed, though still visibly amused. He rubbed his hands together greedily and looked around the night club.

"I could die happy right now." Prussia pulled out the chair he'd been using for balance and sat, looking very pleased with the nights events.

"You're too easy." Vash grunted, and continued surveying the area.

" Well, perhaps a drink first?" He held up Italy's glass, toasted it towards Vash then downed the libation.

"Mm.." Gilbert grimaced and twitched, "too sweet, oh man that's awful."

Interested, Switzerland picked up the glass, "what was it?"

"I don't know" Prussia gagged again, "but it's gone now. Damn I'm going to need something to get rid of that taste." Getting up from the table he pulled out his wallet "Want anything?"

"Yes, " Switzerland said, and smiling like the devil himself, he gave Prussia his order.

It wasn't too long before Germany and Italy returned to their table, Germany looking only mildly irritated, while Italy was completely taken with the evening and loving every second.

"Good for him," Prussia swirled the amber liquid in his mug while he and Switzerland watched from a safe distance at a table of their own.

"What?" Switzerland looked at his partner in crime patently, if a bit suspiciously.

"Nothing, nothing. So how much do you want to bet he breaths fire?"

"That's if he breathes at all."

"Too true." Gilbert took a swig, smacking his lips afterwards. "You don't think this is…?"

"He's not going to die." Vash rolled his eyes and took a small drink from his own cup.

A moment later the commotion both men had been waiting for began. Italy had taken a drink from his glass and instantly gone beat red. He fanned his face a few times and looked inside his glass, Germany asked something they couldn't hear, and to their great delight Italy took another sip.

Between gales of laughter, they watched as Italy began to cough while Germany began to do what he does best: shout. From across the room they could hear Germany's directions to the floundering Italy in between hardy slaps on the back, which weren't really helping. The rogue glass had long ago fallen and was left for dead on the floor, in peril of being squished by giant boots.

Neither the Swiss nor Prussian could breathe for laughter.

"I can't believe-I can't" Gilbert wheezed doubling up on his chair.

"I know." Switzerland hiccuped, and wiped at his eyes.

After what seemed like years both men calmed down. Prussia was near to falling out of his seat, while Switzerland had slumped over the table for better support. Neither had noticed that, for a very loud night club, it had become oddly quiet.

"That was awesome man, what's next?" Prussia ran a hand over his face, dragging it through his hair to the finish.

"Ja, Switzerland, what's next?"

As if in slow motion Prussia and Switzerland looked up in horror to see Germany standing over them, his muscles clenched and his face a cold slab of fury.

"I think you two should run," came a piece of weak, though friendly, advice from behind the very angry German. Italy was pale and still shaking but looked to be recovering quickly; something neither Prussia nor Switzerland had any hope of if Germany got of hold of them.

"New plan," whispered Prussia, though Germany heard it.

"Ya?"

"Every man for himself!" And with that Prussia was out of his chair, leaving it rocking on one leg and toppling to the floor. Switzerland was a mere second behind him, knocking the table over out right in hopes it would give him more time.

Germany watched his panicked clansmen flee, all the awhile keeping his arms firmly crossed and a scowl securely in place. He didn't move to go after them however, instead he stopped the table with a foot and righted it before it injured anyone. He picked up the chairs as well and put them in their place.

"Germany?" Italy ve'd "aren't you going after them?"

"Nine," Germany placed a hand on Italys shoulder, turned him around and guided him back to their table. "There will be plenty of time for that later, right now we are on a date."


End file.
